Not only is it important to speak up about changing needs and desires (like, if one of you meets someone), but you should also talk about what you like and don't in bed — that's what this is all about, right?
"Find out exactly what you're really saying yes to," says Meyers. Keep hugging, kissing, and cuddling — especially in public — to a minimum, Meyers advises: "You have to stay detached or it's going to become a romantic relationship, which changes all the rules." You can also keep boundaries in place by not leaving stuff like toothbrushes and clothes at each other's places.
If TV & film is anything to go by, so-called 'friends with benefits' (or FWB) relationships are extremely common, and the advantage of comfortable, no strings sex might appear obvious to some. Is it best if friends with benefits remain friends, or might these situations be a great way to judge someone committing? Lehmiller explained, “When we ask people the primary reason they began their friends with benefits relationship, the most common answer is that they just wanted to have more sex.
To find out, we spoke to top sexual psychologists Dr. Heidi Reeder, to find out what - if any - rules there are for people in a similar situation. Listen to our podcast on friends with benefits here. For some people, these relationships are only about access to sex and nothing more”.
Love and sex expert Sheri Meyers, Psy D, says that in order to pull off this arrangement, you have to understand the situation first.
"There's a huge difference between 'friends with benefits' and 'no strings attached,'" she says.
Have an agreement ahead of time so you're clear on what's really going on.
Think carefully about how your relationship with a potential FWB might evolve if you added sex to it and how you’d deal if for some reason you two became less close. That friend of your cousin’s who’s hot but whom you just don’t see yourself having a full-blown relationship with? stay friends, Meyers says: "You may enter the situation going, 'I don't want commitment, this is so much easier,' but the minute you start kissing, the oxytocin stars flowing and your emotions get in the way." On the flip side, he could be the one who starts wanting more, which could get awkward if you don't feel the same.
You don’t want to end up losing a close confidante if your FWB adventure goes awry. You are by definition not obligated to be monogamous with an FWB, so it’s super important that your protection game is on point.
Hooking up with your hot friend might seem like a no-brainer.
They're single, you're single, what's the big deal?