There’s not a doubt in my mind that the people who came that night with their fears ratcheted way up and their expectations way down didn’t have fun, and likely left thinking it was a waste of a night. It’s great to have some girlfriends in tow when you hit up a social scene, but as soon as you turn in the wagons—and your back to everyone else—you’ve effectively sealed yourselves off from any nearby prospects.Which, by the way, is a very convenient way to keep your scarcity mentality-slash-insecurity stories in tact. Man-bashing and complaining may be a fun way to meet new girlfriends, but I think it’s a cowardly way to spend an evening—not to mention unproductive. DUDES: Standing around staring at a lady is, quite frankly, unnerving.And while the crowd was very squarely adult (average age probably about 35), you would have thought it was a high school mixer. They were about as committed to being here as you could be. They’re not too old.” “Well, we don’t see anyone worth talking to, so in a bit, we’re thinking of going to a bar down the street.” A bar down the street?Women sat along one wall, or chatted in small groups, while the men hunkered around, some looking slightly uncomfortable, others leering in wait like lone wolfs. But still, the people in this room had made the Herculean effort to get there—RSVP’d days in advance, got dressed, took the train or a cab across town. And then, it seems, stopped short by their own stories, assumptions, and judgments. ” When I asked what they thought, the ringleader said she’d already done a lap, and in one facial twitch, dismissed the crowd of men outright. They’d made every effort to be here now, where available men were guaranteed.Or you’re a young man who feels drawn to older women.In both cases, this may be due to the allure of the possibilities that come with mixing ages, interests and backgrounds.Many women who have reached an above-average level of success in their careers grew up in a time when there weren’t that many women in positions of great leadership or authority.Until the last decade, there have been far less female CEOs or women in high-level managerial positions.
Or, approach her with some normal conversation leads (not pick-up lines) handy so you can get to know her and not make her want to run for ze hills. I know this is unfathomable to some, and it requires some gumption, but I’m telling you, the upfront bravery has a bigger payoff. One friend at the last minute did show up, but I was there long before her, and when she did arrive, she mingled separately.One guy said he just wanted an average woman, because he considered himself average, but that people were a little generous in their descriptions of themselves online.He indicated a woman with a perfectly average figure and said, “I bet that woman calls herself average.” I said, .What is also powerfully influential are the ever increasing and empowering lead roles created for women in movies, on TV, and through infinite social media forums.Through the years many have watched, or already understood their mothers and sisters to have a powerful say in how they regard women.