Ken Solin, who wrote The Boomer Guide to Finding True Love Online, detailed his experience in a self-authored column titled “Dating Over 50: Going Slow Instead of with the Flow”: “Online dating profiles don’t really explain a person, and chemistry requires a face-to-face, so online dating has its limitations.
Then there’s the issue of dating etiquette, which doesn’t appear to exist at all, and since there aren’t any rules, dating behavior ranges from polite to rude…But trying to go slow in a dating world that operates at supersonic speed is difficult, because it’s really easy to get caught up in the partnering race.
Step back for a moment and ask: Is modern dating truly normal? The focus in the 21st century is less about finding someone to date, court and marry than finding someone who can be fun “for the moment.”“Raised in the age of so-called ‘hookup culture,’ millennials—who are reaching an age where they are starting to think about settling down—are subverting the rules of courtship,” The New York Times reported.“Instead of dinner-and-a-movie, which seems as obsolete as a rotary phone, they rendezvous over phone texts, Facebook posts, instant messages and other ‘non-dates’ that are leaving a generation confused about how to land a boyfriend or girlfriend.“‘The new date is “hanging out,”’ said [a 24-year-old] associate television producer in Manhattan, who is currently developing a show about this frustrating new romantic landscape.
As one male friend recently told her: ‘I don’t like to take girls out.
In the context of dating, it removes much of the need for charm; it’s more like dropping a line in the water and hoping for a nibble.”The article further states: “Online dating services, which have gained mainstream acceptance, reinforce the hyper-casual approach by greatly expanding the number of potential dates.
Faced with a never-ending stream of singles to choose from, many feel a sense of ‘FOMO’ (fear of missing out), so they opt for a speed-dating approach—cycle through lots of suitors quickly.“That also means that suitors need to keep dates cheap and casual. You’re lucky to get a drink.“‘It’s like online job applications, you can target many people simultaneously—it’s like darts on a dart board, eventually one will stick,” said [a 26-year-old] branding coordinator in Manhattan, describing the attitudes of many singles in their 20s. Over the decades in the Western world, traditional dating was gradually overtaken by the high school “going steady/boyfriend-girlfriend” approach.
Conversation flows naturally for a couple hours, with each beginning to learn about the background and interests of the other.
The two of them were introduced to one another by a mutual friend at a social function some weeks prior. As she steps outside, he offers an umbrella to shield her from rain showers, walks with her to the passenger side of the car, and opens the door for her. The pair takes a scenic route to a special destination: a reserved table at an elegant restaurant.In truth, falling in love is hard to resist in midlife.”Any thinking man or woman eventually reaches the conclusion that the practices above do not work.But how far must dating deteriorate before things change for the better? Many see recent changes as progress—but do the results support this view? Apparently there is now a difference—exclusivity isn’t always promised.In 2008 just 3% of all Americans said that they had used an online dating site; by 2009 that figure had risen to 6% of all Americans, and today 9% of the adult population has used an online dating site.”Being able to connect with so many possible matches at the touch of a button should have simplified the already difficult process and made it even easier to find a “soul mate.” Yet it has instead complicated it, resulting in less solid relationships than ever before.“Traditional courtship—picking up the telephone and asking someone on a date—required courage, strategic planning and a considerable investment of ego (by telephone, rejection stings),” The New York Times reported in the article “The End of Courtship?” “Not so with texting, e-mail, Twitter or other forms of ‘asynchronous communication,’ as techies call it.