If your child seems to be unable to enjoy him or herself, or if you find yourself feeling sorry for your children, speak to a qualified therapist. Keep the lines of communication to your children open. Don't ask questions that will require your child to point a finger at your former spouse.
Ask your child if he or she would prefer to talk about those difficulties with an impartial adult, such as a therapist or an adult family friend.
Care enough about your children to guide them onto the path of success in life.
Your children need you – your time, your attention, your understanding and your encouragement.
Your child might be quiet and may not want to share any feelings. If you think that it might be related to a lack of emotional vocabulary, help your child develop one. A good therapist can help you to process what has happened in your marriage and afterwards. Respect that your loss is different from your child's.
At the same time, you want to encourage your children to continue to enjoy their childhood. Validate how they are feeling now, while pointing out to them that they may not always feel that way. Let your child know that you are always there for them.Be careful not to send your child the message that all members of your former spouse's gender are bad, particularly not to your children of that gender. Giving your child too much information might be a subtle (or not so subtle) way of asking them to help you.Rather than going into the details of how little money is in your account, stick to a simple "we need to be smart about how we spend our money now." As the adult, you will need to find the best way to pay your bills.Inject your own thoughts, "Well, if I were Winnie the Pooh, I would be sad that Tigger didn't invite me to his birthday party." Then talk about the choices available to Winnie the Pooh. Set short term, medium and long term goals for your yourself and for your family. By dealing with your difficult feelings and getting through them you can become a bigger person from the experience.Divorce creates the possibility for a new beginning. Being a bigger person means letting go of competition. What will be etched in your children's memory for life is not who bought them the most toys, but who had values that they could respect.